"Headline News" is a parody song by "Weird Al" Yankovic. The song is a reworking of the Crash Test Dummies hit, "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm", about three abnormal children. "Headline News", in jest, is about three news stories of the mid 1990s: Singapore caning American delinquent Michael Fay, Tonya Harding's boyfriend beating her figure-skating rival Nancy Kerrigan, and Lorena Bobbitt removing her husband's penis (although "weiner" and "Mr. Happy" are used as euphemisms) with a knife.
The song was never officially released on a studio album and is only available as a CD single, the cover of which is a parody of the Crash Test Dummies album, God Shuffled His Feet. The song does appear on Yankovic's Greatest Hits Volume II album and a box set entitled Permanent Record: Al In The Box.
Yankovic's Straight Outta Lynwood concert tour contains new lyrics as part of the medley, referencing Britney Spears, dealing with her 2007 head-shaving shock and underpants-less limousine trip in late 2006, and Paris Hilton, detailing her trip to prison.
- The manualist is the same as in "I Love Rocky Road."
- Dr. Demento makes an appearance as one of the concert attendees leaving at the end with the large woman in a muumuu.