Lyrics in italics were sung by female "operators". Lyrics in bold were sung by the "operators" & Al together. I need a Vegematic I need a Pocket Fisherman I need a handy appliance That'll scramble an egg while it's still inside its shell Operators are standing by How does that make you feel Help me Mr. Popeil I wanna shine some pennies I wanna mend some leather I wanna Krazy-Glue my head to the bottom of a big steel girder Please, no C.O.D.'s Don't miss out on this deal Ah, help me Mr. Popeil Help me Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil Woah It slices, it dices Look at that tomato You could even cut a tin can with it But you wouldn't want to Mr. Popeil, I'm in trouble Need your assistance on the double Oh no, now how am I gonna make My old vinyl car top look like new Mr. Popeil Tell me, what am I supposed to do Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil Now how much would you pay But wait, there's more It's not sold in any store Now how much would you pay Don't answer yet Just look what else you get Now how much would you pay If you order today You get a Ginsu knife and a smokeless Ashtray Now how much would you pay Now how much would you pay Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil, Mr. Popeil Make me buy a Garden Weasel Make me buy a Bamboo Steamer Make me take advantage Of this amazing TV offer Call our toll-free number We'll make you such a deal Aw, help me Mr. Popeil, I want it Mr. Popeil, well, I need it Mr. Popeil, I got to got to got to have it Mr. Popeil Mr. Popeil Hey
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