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Lyrics:

I had a pizza,
Covered with cheese.
I wrapped it all up in aluminum foil,
Stuck it back in the freeze.
Look at my crust now,
See what I mean.
It's getting all wrinkled,
And my pepperoni is hairy and green.
Ah, 'cause it's moldy now,
It got moldy fast.
How can I
Make leftovers last, make leftovers last?
I was so hungry,
What could I do?
I finished the pizza
And topped it all off with some mystery stew.
Now I feel kinda queasy,
Yeah, yeah, what can I say?
So I called my physician
To wish him that he'd make a house call today.

Woah, 'cause he's my doctor, doctor,
And his name is Bernie, Bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
I'm feelin' pretty dismal.
Doctor, doctor,
And his name is Bernie, Bernie.
Oh, doctor, doctor,
Where's my Pepto Bismol?

The first steak I ordered,
It wasn't very hot.
I had to send it back,
Let 'em have one more shot.
But the second steak I ordered,
Well it was lousy too.
Now I really hate to say it,
But there's one thing that you gotta do.
Make me steak number three, yeah.
Make me steak number three.
Make me steak number three, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Make me steak number three.

Burger King!
What's the price for fries?
I'll take the jumbo size!
I need fast food tonight!

Hey! Oooh! Oh!
One rule you all should obey:
Eat from the four basic food groups everyday.
Have bread, and vegetables too,
Some dairy products, but whatever you do
Don't you forget about meat.
Don't, don't, don't, don't,
Don't you forget about meat.

I know to keep a woman satisfied.
When I whip out my Diner's Card their eyes get so wide.
They're always in the mood for something to munch.
Ah girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have...
That's all they really want,
Some lunch.
Don't ask 'em to dinner
Or breakfast or brunch,
'Cause girls, they wanna have lunch.
Ah, girls just wanna have lunch.
Girls they want, wanna have lunch, girls, wanna have...

Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.
But he's no bum, he lives down the street.
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say,
Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're on special tonight.
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I won't put up a fight.
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.

I hear those ice cream bells and I start to drool.
Keep a couple quarts in my locker at school.
Yeah, but chocolate's gettin' old,
Vanilla just leaves me cold.
There's just one flavor good enough for me, yeah me!
Don't gimme no crummy taste spoon, I know what I need.
Baby, I love rocky road,
So won't you go and buy half a gallon, baby?
I love rocky road,
Now have another triple scoop with me!
Ow!

Oh, oh, here she comes.
Boy, she likes that processed meat.
Oh, oh, here she comes.
She's Spameater!

Baby, when we go to parties,
I drink a buncha beer.
Then my tummy starts a-grumblin'
Feelin' queer.
And then I feel like
I feel like throwin' up!
I feel like throwin' up!
Feel like throwin' up on you.

Avocado,
What makes you think you're so holy?
You're gonna be guacamole before too long.
Oh, you're a green one,
You know that you're out of season.
You'd better let somebody eat you,
Let somebody eat you.
Ya better let somebody eat you
Before it's too late.

Wanna whole lotta lunch!
Wanna whole lotta lunch!
Wanna whole lotta lunch!
Wanna whole lotta lunch!
Way down inside!
Woman, you need
LUNCH!

Goin' to the market now, market now.
I'm the city's biggest bologna buyer.
Walkin' down the shopping aisle, shopping aisle,
Filling up my basket with Oscar Meyer.
Never gonna stop, eat it up,
Such a tasty snack.
I always eat too much, and throw up,
But I'll soon be back
For my-my-my-y-y woo!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my-my-my-y-y woo!
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna! 

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