I've never been Your average therapist Not very good With women or men But on the farm I help the animals The call came in At a quarter after two The herd's gone nuts We don't know what to do Each one of these Cows are crazy And you're our only hope now This is what they called me for But I am havin' some doubt That I can help these cows I'm the only one they've got now Will try every Freudian technique out To try to help these cows! They won't stand still, Respect they do not show Just an udder day, Using everything I know Try to pick their brains They won't respond to me Seems they're too slow, For advanced psychology This is what they called me for But they've got me wondering how That I can help these cows? Trying every trick in the book now Well I'll do almost anything Just to help these cows Every cow just needs to calm down Every cow needs to be drugged, to be drugged! Gather all the cows around Cause I've got the solution now I can help these, I can help these cows! This is what I came here for Get my prescription pad out now So I can help these cows Each one of them gets a pill Wellbutrin should make them chill I'm going to drug these cows This is what they called me for And everyone can sleep better now Since I've helped these cows Smarter than I've ever been Never been afraid of selling out Just to help the cows This why I come around No one can question me now Because I helped them Yes I cured those cows.
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