You've got a '65 Chevy Malibu With automatic drive A custom paint job too I'll trade you for my old wheelbarrow And a slightly used sombrero And I'll even throw in a stapler if you insist... Craigslist! I'm on Craiglsist, baby, come on! Yeah! Well we shared a quick glance Saturday at the mall I never took a chance Never approached you at all You were a blonde half-Asian with a bad case of gas I was wearin' red speedos and a hockey mask Come on let's find that love connection that we missed On Craigslist! Yeah, Craigslist, come on! I'm on Craigslist Oh, baby, maybe you are too! Be bom ba chomb cadonk bin bam boo! An open letter to the snotty barista at the Coffee Bean on San Vicente Boulevard: I know there were twenty people behind me in line, But I was on a cellphone call with my mother. Didn't you see me hold up my index finger? That means I'll order my soy decaf hazelnut latte in just a couple of minutes. So what's with the attitude lady? No tip for you! Got a trashcan of Styrofoam peanuts You can have 'em for free You can drop by on the weekend And pick 'em up from me But the trashcan ain't part of the deal Only givin' you the peanuts, get real! Don't have hefty bag, so bring your own, Don't bug me with questions on the phone Don't ask for help, don't waste my time And don't complain 'cause they won't cost you a dime Just ask yourself: Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have my Styrofoam peanuts. Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? You can have them all. They're on Craigslist! Craigslist! Oh, baby come on! I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist! I'm on Craigslist, Craigslist, Craigslist now! Craigslist!
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